UNC-Chapel Hill 2019 Commencement Address

On May 11, 2019, I had the pleasure of serving as the Commencement Speaker at my alma mater, the Department of Public Policy at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. Below is the speech I gave that day.

I want to thank Professor Gitterman so much for that wonderful introduction. Professor Gitterman wants me to just call him ‘Dan’ now, but that feels so odd to me! It’s such an honor to be back in my favorite place on earth. All of us here know the saying: the sky is Carolina blue because God is a Tar Heel.

First and foremost, congratulations to the 2019 graduates of the School of Public Policy! I also want to congratulate all of the parents, family, and friends in the audience. We are a product of our communities, and the graduates wouldn’t be here today without you. Congratulations to you all as well!

Not too long ago, I was sitting where you are now…looking up at the graduation speaker…a little nervous to leave Chapel Hill, but eager to have new experiences. In a way, I wish I could go back to that day and give myself some advice. Unfortunately, time doesn’t work like that. But, I would like to use this opportunity to impart that advice onto you all instead.

Today I want to talk about the unpredictability that comes with the next phase of your journey. About figuring out how to paint the picture of your life at a time when you’re going through the intense changes of your twenties. I want to talk about measuring the dimensions and choosing the colors of your painting, even when they are different from those around you.

I’ll start by telling you a little bit more about me. I graduated from UNC in the spring of 2013. I applied to countless places in Washington, D.C. because I thought that’s what I was supposed to do. Besides the fact that I spent a good bit of my childhood in the D.C. area and enjoyed the city, I believed that D.C. was inevitably where you go as a Public Policy major.

Shortly after graduation, my now husband, Stewart, then a senior at the University of Georgia, called and said: “Hey! I have an idea. We should move to Detroit. Remember that alternative spring break trip I went to there? I really think that’s where we should go.”

Part of me thought he was crazy. Why would I go to Detroit when I’d never been there and I didn’t have any friends, family, or professional connections in Detroit. But something in my gut told me that Stewart was right and that Detroit was where I needed to be. So I said: “okay, let’s go!”

Let me address what I’m sure many of you are thinking: that I should have listened to that part of me who thought Stewart was crazy. Detroit? Yes, Detroit. There are a lot of negative images of the city, but they are just that: negative parts of a city that you’d see in arguably any urban metropolis. I always say that these negative parts aren’t Detroit problems, they are just problems that happen to be in Detroit.

And I have to tell you that besides marrying Stewart, deciding to move to Detroit was the best decision I’ve ever made.

Once I made the decision, I immediately started googling public policy and social justice jobs and fellowships. Eventually, I stumbled on Challenge Detroit, a new fellowship that was only in its second year. The deadline had passed a few days prior, but I emailed the Director of the program right away. I remember pleading, “I know the deadline has passed but please accept my resume and application.” She did, and after several rounds of competition I found myself in Detroit for the final interview trip.

The interview process included a lightning round of short interviews with various businesses and organizations. Of course, I wanted to be as prepared as possible, so I’d organized my notes for each short interview well in advance. The night before, however, I received an email from another organization that signed on to participate in the program at the last minute: The Detroit Lions. I remember thinking “this IS NOT part of the plan. I haven’t done any research on the Lions. Yeah I love sports, but that’s pretty much the extent of it.”

Well, the interview day came and went, I ended up ranking the Lions as my top choice and I found out later that they ranked me as theirs. Flash forward a few months and I was prepping for the Lions season opener.

Who would have thought that a Public Policy degree would have you working in sports? But that’s the thing about the unpredictability of life and being prepared no matter the circumstances.

My time with Challenge Detroit was one of the greatest professional experiences I’ve ever had. I worked for the Lions Monday through Thursday (and Sundays) in the marketing department. I worked on everything — from game day and training camp, to charitable events and the Lion’s NFL Draft party for season ticket holders. On Fridays, I worked with the other Challenge Detroit fellows on issues facing the city, from homelessness, the expansion of the city’s riverfront, to supporting minority entrepreneurship on the city’s west side.

After a year when my fellowship was done, I had a new decision to make: Do I go to law school like I planned? Or do I keep working? Again, my gut spoke loudly. It told me to continue working with the Lions who had offered me a full-time position handling their corporate communications. Next thing I knew, I was responsible for media outreach, writing press releases, pitching editorial opportunities, and so much more.

The position was great. I loved the work, and my colleagues became some of my closest friends. But at the end of the year, and for a third time, my gut spoke to me. This time, it told me that if I didn’t go for the one thing I’ve always wanted — becoming a lawyer — then I would never feel fulfilled.

So I left my position with an NFL team, to go to law school. I applied to the University of Michigan, my dream school and got it in. Yet again, my gut was right.

The highlight of my time at Michigan was serving as President of the Black Law Students Association (BLSA). I loved my time as President. We created a strong community, and we ended up recruiting a record number of 26 Black Law students for that following year’s entering class.

Aside from BLSA, my law school experience wasn’t that out of the ordinary. I went to class, completed a ton of reading (the norm in law school) and I earned good enough grades to hit the curve. I wasn’t exactly thrilled to study contracts, property, or corporate law. So naturally I wasn’t really excited when I accepted a job offer at a cushy corporate law firm months before graduation.

From the minute I set foot in a law firm during my 1L summer internship, I knew that I was losing sight of myself and what was at my core. I’d always pictured myself becoming a civil rights attorney or a movement lawyer. But instead I ended up interning at two law firms and signed up to be a corporate lawyer, even though I didn’t feel like myself. I think I rationalized my decisions by telling myself that I would learn about corporate America to help communities later on in my life. Those communities include places like Detroit where I live; East Saint Louis where my mom is from; and Hilton Head Island where my dad was born and raised.

So, here I am now. It’s been six years since I graduated from UNC and a year and five months since I graduated from law school. It has also been a year and two months since I officially started working as a corporate lawyer. So many changes and so many decisions. I have set myself up for success, and I’m proud of that.

But my gut is screaming yet again. And it’s telling me to leave this law firm, despite the paychecks, the accolades, and what everyone else thinks I should or should not do. It’s telling me to get back to ME: to my core values and my original goals.

So this past week I listened to my voice. I turned in my 2 weeks notice. I couldn’t keep shrinking myself to fit a vision or an idea that was never really for me. I was getting distracted by things that have nothing to do with my goals. I’d been painting with colors I didn’t like and using dimensions that didn’t speak to me. But my painting is for ME to create, NOT others. So, even though I’m still finalizing my next steps — which is a bit nerve-wracking — I know I’m making the right choice.

And this is what I want to say to every graduate in this room. As you go through changes, don’t be afraid to feel your way through. Don’t be afraid to listen to that voice inside that’s saying: “this isn’t me. This isn’t meant for me. I’m meant to achieve more and be different.” I firmly believe that if you keep this in mind, everything always works itself out the way it is supposed to.

Just remember that your painting should be your own masterpiece. So stay true to yourself. Respect your calling. Set your boundaries. Relentlessly move toward your vision, but accept that there are different roads to the final destination. And always remind yourself that no one knows you better than you.

I’m rooting for you.

Congratulations, and Go Heels.